The Ten Commandments of Rule Breaking
by Sweetdeath04 and Thorney
Summary: The oppertunity of going to Rivendell and causing mayhem, chaos and disorder is too perfect for Merry and Pippin to miss. Poor Elrond won't know what hit him...
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
The Ten Commandments of Rule Breaking  
  
Prologue  
  
"Right," said Merry, as he rolled out the makeshift map on the table. "In three days we leave for Rivendell for Mister Bilbo's one hundred and...and... and... and whatever birthday party. We will be staying there for ten days, so we have that amount of time to cause utter chaos at Lord Elrond's expense!"  
  
Pippin looked doubtfully at the map Merry had prepared. "What is that supposed to be?"  
  
Merry frowned at him. "Rivendell, Imladris, the Last Homely House, you know!"  
  
"It looks like a lot of old squiggles," Pippin replied, trying to keep a straight face.  
  
"Fine! Forget about the map!" he cried, brushing it off the table. "The point is, this is a perfect trouble making opportunity, my dear cousin, and we can not let it pass without giving it a second thought!"  
  
"Got any ideas then?" said Pippin hopefully, the flicker of a smile spreading across his face.  
  
"A few," said Merry smirking.  
  
"Like... fireworks!"  
  
"Not quite what I had in mind. What if we....."  
  
"How did you get down here?" Frodo had just walked into their hiding place, which just so happened to be the cellar of Bag End. "You could just go to the Green Dragon if you wanted a drink, you don't always have to come down here and steal my wine!"  
  
"As a matter of fact, we are not stealing your alcohol, this time anyway. I was merely instructing our young cousin to be on his best behaviour when we go to your Uncle Bilbo's birthday party."  
  
"And you are doing this in my cellar because..." said Frodo, unconvinced. Merry's mouth opened and shut several times, but no sound was produced.  
  
"Will there ever be a day when I have reason to believe you?" said an exasperated Frodo. "So if you're finished lecturing Pippin, Merry, I suggest that you both come upstairs with me and have a glass of whatever non-alcoholic beverage you desire."  
  
Merry sighed. "We'd love to, Frodo, but we have a lot to prepare before we leave for Rivendell. So, we must be leaving. Good day to you," he said before walking past Frodo, up the steps, and out the door of Bag End, with Pippin close behind.  
  
"Merry!" whispered Pippin, as they strode down Sharkey's End. "Do you reckon we should have told him about the tunnel we've been building under the floorboards?"  
  
"No!" Merry muttered urgently. "He'd only fill it in, and I'm not surrendering my midnight tonic to Frodo just because of a hole in the ground!"  
  
Meanwhile, Frodo was making a couple of mental notes. One; to check the cellar thoroughly. And two; remind Elrond, when they got to Rivendell, what a couple of pranksters Merry and Pippin are.  
  
A.N. Don't worry, it will get better! Please review! Sweetdeath04  
& Thorney 


	2. Thou shalt use embarassment to crush thy...

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
Thou shalt use embarrassment to crush thy enemy  
  
Three days later, the party set off for Rivendell. A few weeks later they were greeted 'warmly' by Elrond, Arwen, Aragorn and Bilbo.  
  
"Welcome to Rivendell!" said Elrond, opening his arms in greeting. Then he caught sight of Merry and Pippin, and his eyes narrowed. "Meriadoc! Peregrin!"  
  
The pair grimaced at the use of their full names. "Lord Elrond!" said Merry, as he and Pippin bowed in fake, humbleness. "We are honoured to make your acquaintance again."  
  
As Elrond strode past to talk to the others, he muttered distinctively, "Good, keep it that way."  
  
As they watched him walk out of earshot Pippin said, "He is so gullible!"  
  
"Come on!" said Merry, grabbing Pippins wrist and dragging him in the direction of Aragorn and Arwen. "We have some research to do."  
  
Stopping in front of the couple, Merry bowed low. "My Lord and Lady. We bring greetings from the Shire." The conversation continued in this manner for several minutes until...  
  
"As you can see, we didn't get off on the right foot with Lord Elrond, so we were wondering if you would share some information with us on," at this Merry paused, to do some quick thinking. "on his hobbies and so forth, so we can..." he paused again, "wipe the slate clean, bury the hatchet, you know." Aragorn and Arwen gave each other sideways glances.  
  
"So, roughly translated," said Arwen, "you want to find out more about my fathers weaknesses, secrets and embarrassing moments so that you can play cruel and downright evil pranks on him, using our information as the foundation of your plots. Am I correct?" Merry stared amazed at the future Queen.  
  
"So eventually," began Aragorn, "you will drive him mad with fear, embarrassment, hatred and humiliation. All because of several child's pranks that you played on him for your own enjoyment."  
  
"In short, yes!" said Pippin.  
  
"We're in," they said simultaneously, with no trace of emotion on their faces. They turned on their heals and walked away, hand in hand.  
  
"That went better than I expected," said Merry, voice slightly hoarse from astonishment.  
  
"Never under estimate Strider and Lady Arwen." said Pippin, "it's better for your health."  
  
"Ok point taken, but we have a lot of scheming to do before the end of the day so we'd better get on with it. But I suggest we use old reliable first. It's never failed us yet and I think it's kindest to break Elrond in gently."  
  
Night came swiftly for the young hobbits, but not for poor, old Elrond. He had attempted to hide his overwhelming fear in the courtyard. But now it was catching up on him. At two o'clock in the morning he stumbled into his bedchamber after checking the whole of Rivendell for booby traps. To his utter surprise and terror, he had found nothing! Elrond flopped onto his bed and fell into a deep slumber without even changing his robes.  
  
He had been asleep for no longer than ten minutes when Pippin poked his head around the door. Merry had instructed him to do the dirty work. He crept into the room carrying a large bowl of warm water. Gingerly, he lifted Elrond hand and set it in the water, then set the bowl on a small table beside his bed. Doing his best not to laugh, he slinked out of the room, not feeling the slightest bit of regret.  
  
Morning dawned, bright and clear. Elrond woke up feeling refreshed though he felt the strangest sensation of wetness about his lower body parts.  
  
Realization of what had happened dawned on him slowly. He looked across at the his hand in the bowl of water.  
  
"MERIADOC!" he shrieked into the silence. "PEREGRIN!"  
  
Of course, Merry and Pippin weren't going to come running. In fact, they were standing outside Elrond's door, sniggering heartily at the sodden elf.  
  
"Like I said," choked Merry through his chuckles, "Never fails!"  
  
"Now for the final piece!" said Pippin, voice quivering in excitement. He ran down to the study in which Lord Glorfindel was situated. "Lord Glorfindel," he said, struggling to keep calm. "Master Elrond would like to see you for a moment. He's in his bedchamber."  
  
"Very well," sighed Glorfindel, setting his quill down and following Pippin out the door and towards Elrond's room.  
  
Glorfindel entered saying, "My Lord, I was s... s... sen..."  
  
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Elrond's voice was heard throughout Rivendell.  
  
"Good gracious!" exclaimed the Elven maidens who had just entered bearing Elrond's breakfast.  
  
Then Arwen entered the room. "Father, I was just wanting to... I'll come back at a better time," she scurried out of the room and hurried off down the corridor in the direction of Aragorn's chamber. On her way past Merry and Pippin she muttered out of the corner of her mouth, "Good one!" and carried on down the hall.  
  
Merry and Pippin gave each other a high fives and fled from that area before Elrond emerged from his soaked bed.  
  
We can safely say that every night after that incident, Elrond went to bed with a rubber sheet.  
  
A.N. For anyone who hasn't worked it out yet, Elrond wet the bed! Please Read and Review! Next Chapter: reveal thy enemies secrets. If you like toffee you will love it! Sweetdeath04  
& Thorney 


	3. Thou must reveal thy enemies secrets

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
Thou must reveal thy enemies secrets  
  
Elrond refused to come out of his room the whole of that day, and be honest, can you really blame him? All of Imladras and the surrounding area had heard about his... accident. Something about the constant laughing, elves talking behind their hands, pointing at him in the hallways and the ridiculous nick-names like 'pee-wee' made the idea almost unbearable for Elrond.  
  
Meanwhile, Merry and Pippin were congratulating each other on the success of their prank which had caused such a disturbance on the first day.  
  
The sun was beginning to set when they visited Aragorn and Arwen, who were sitting on the grass beside the Loud Water River. It was at that point that they discovered that elves, although being immortal, couldn't avoid every single sign of ageing.  
  
The following morning, Lindir strode through passageways, heading for Elrond's study. It was time to get even. Elrond would think twice about confiscating his bouncy ball again! Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took had informed him of their plan, after learning that he had a grudge to settle with Lord Elrond. Of course, being the eccentric and inconspicuous elf that he was, Lindir agreed to help without hesitation.  
  
Elrond was sitting in his study attempting to keep his mind off his humiliation by writing an entry in his diary. The only reason he wasn't cowering in his closet right now was because Aragorn had invaded and told him of the horrors of dust mites. That had been scary enough to drive him out of his closet and into his sterilized study.  
  
There was a few knocks on his door and he looked up, petrified.  
  
"If you're any shorter than four feet you can't come in here!" he yelled at the door.  
  
"It's just me, My Lord! Not one of those dratted hobbits!" said Lindir, pushing the door open. "Do you know what they did to me this morning?" he said, thinking of a small prank, for, of course, none of this was true. "They put thorns in my slippers!"  
  
But Elrond didn't want to know. "What are you doing here Lindir?" asked Elrond, raising an eyebrow. "If you're looking for that bouncy ball back again, you can just forget it! It's broken far too many pairs of my spectacles."  
  
Lindir caught sight of the coffee table sized book on the desk. Struggling to make small talk and divert the attention from his beloved bouncy ball, he said, "If I may ask, My Lord, what is that large book on your desk?"  
  
"It's my..." he was about to say diary, but he didn't want to sound even more pathetic and weak as he was sure he already did in front of Lindir. "My journal," he said quickly, "Yes, it's my journal, Lindir."  
  
Lindir looked amazed at the sheer enormity of the book. Elrond, reading his look said, "I've lived a very long time, Lindir, so I have a very thick dia... journal!"  
  
Quit the small talk, it was time for some action.  
  
"My Lord, you wouldn't happen to know the time?" asked Lindir.  
  
"Almost midday, the lunch bell will ring in a few minutes," replied Elrond.  
  
"I think I will go have some lunch," Lindir said opening the door.  
  
"I do think I will accompany you, dear Lindir."  
  
"If you're hungry, My Lord, I have some toffee you might like to try. They're very good. Clotted cream! M&P Inc."  
  
Of course, Elrond had no idea that M&P stood for Merry and Pippin. It was their own special recipe for toffee and for disaster. Extra chewy.  
  
Elrond look at Lindir suspiciously, "Are they poisoned?"  
  
"Poisoned! I'm insulted that you would even believe it possible of me, My Lord! Here I'll prove it."  
  
Lindir prayed that Merry and Pippin hadn't been lying when they said that the sweets weren't poisoned. He too had asked. He fished around in the bag and pulled out a golden coloured toffee. He popped into his mouth. The result was instantaneous. His jaws cemented together, making a bond tighter than super glue. Unable to speak he brandished the bag at Elrond.  
  
Elrond took one sceptically and placed it in his mouth. It tasted fine. Maybe it wasn't poisoned after all.  
  
"Ish goog!" spluttered Elrond. But at the precise moment that he opened his mouth something fell onto the floor, and landed beside Lindir's foot.  
  
Elrond blanched. One of the only secrets he had managed to keep in Rivendell had been divulged to people outside of his close family circle. He had...  
  
DENTURES!!!  
  
Elrond made some babbling noises that sounded like,  
  
"Meriadoc... kill! Peregrin... slaughter!" and much to the other elf's terror, "Lindir... squish!!!"  
  
At that point the lunch bell rang- a sign that Lindir's job was almost complete! He kicked Elrond's false teeth out of the wide open door, and into the middle of the now crowded hall. Everyone went silent. They were now all staring at Elrond and his toothless mouth! Then, all at once, everyone started laughing! Luckily, Lindir managed to grab his beloved bouncy ball before sneaking off into the crowd.  
  
Elrond snatched up his dentures and ran off to some secret place to re- attach his teeth.  
  
Meanwhile, back in Elrond's study, the cupboard door burst open and Merry and Pippin fell out.  
  
"I am so glad to be out of there!" Pippin said, still howling from what he had seen moments before. "We must thank Arwen for that very useful bit of information!"  
  
"And," said Merry, "we don't have to get Lindir a new bouncy ball because he got his old one back himself!"  
  
After that, they went off, still laughing, to their bedrooms to await the return of a fully toothed Elrond!  
  
A.N. This chapter is dedicated to our mate, Gnome back with a vengeance! He was the one that gave us the idea for this chapters plot. Chapter three; Beauty is thy key to all evil, is coming soon! By Sweetdeath04  
& Thorney 


	4. Beauty is thy key to all evil

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
Beauty is thy key to all evil  
  
Arwen had heard about the success of Merry and Pippin's toffee scheme. However, unlike them, she did feel a little sympathetic for her father. It had formed itself into a battle inside her brain.  
  
*He's your father!* one side protested, *you shouldn't be doing that sort of stuff to him!*  
  
'Why not?' interrupted the other side, 'think of all the things he's done to us' *You betrayed his confidence! How could you!*  
  
'It's pay back for not letting Legolas and us go to the Busted concert in Belfast together. And that was recently; think about long ago when we were just kids!'  
  
*Of course I remember him. A kind loving father, never too busy to help us with our math homework.*  
  
'You lie other side of my brain, he never helped me! In fact he never even paid attention to me!'  
  
*He's still your dad! You owe your existence to him!*  
  
'Some existence that's been! Three thousand years of being ignored by your dad! When we were six Elladan and Elrohir put glue in my hair! He didn't do anything except saying, "...did you do something with your hair?"'  
  
*Well.....well....h..He is your father.*  
  
'Ha! You're out of ideas! I still love him of course I do, but think about it! You love Aragorn as much as I do right?'  
  
*Right*  
  
'WELL HE'S STOPPING US FROM MARRING HIM!!!'  
  
* Hey you're right! Down with dad! Down with Dad! Down with-*  
  
"ARWEN!"  
  
Arwen woke from her trance with 'down with Dad' still ringing in her ears. "What," she said dully.  
  
"Arwen," Pippin was standing in front of her looking exasperated. "I was calling you for ages, away in the undying lands were we?"  
  
Arwen blinked at him, "That's one place I'm never going!" recalling the brain battle in her ears. "Well, hopefully."  
  
Pippin dismissed the comment. "Follow me, we have another plan but it needs a woman's touch."  
  
He darted up the path. Arwen hesitated and then decided the second side had won the battle.  
  
'After all,' she thought as she sped after Pippin, 'it's only a bit of fun!'  
  
"I AM NEVER INVITING THOSE TWO........... THINGS TO MY HOME EVER AGAIN!"  
  
Elrond had had a tiring day. The combined effort of chasing Lindir around Imladras and running away from people who were suggesting new nick-names. He was also trying to figure out which one of his family members had chosen to divulge such personal information. Elladan and Elrohir.... They were not due to arrive for a day or two, Aragorn didn't know...........but that only left.........No, Not Arwen! His little angel! She would never betray her daddy. One of the twins must have told someone, who in turn passed it on to those little hairy toed brats!  
  
But he couldn't be bothered to find out whom right now. In fact he couldn't be bothered to do anything right at that moment. He rang a bell in the corner of the room to summon the maid. He ordered a large brandy and then sat on his bed with his head in his hands. He was in for it. What he couldn't tell, but he was. Maybe if he hadn't been so tired he would have checked his drink before he swallowed it, in a single gulp. But as it was, he didn't even feel the drug taking effect. He collapsed on to his bed fast asleep.  
  
As midnight struck, Arwen stuck her head round the corner. The corridor was deserted so she crept forwards, Merry and Pippin following behind. The trio were dressed in black complete with black balaclavas. The hobbits clothes were a bit over sized but still looked authentic. Arwen was carrying a backpack.  
  
"Merry?" asked Pippin. "Is there really a need for the black garments?"  
  
"No," admitted Merry. "But it gets us in the mood!"  
  
Arwen ducked low, rolled across the corridor, stood up and flattened herself against the opposite wall.  
  
"Arwen's defiantly in the mood!" said Pippin, amused.  
  
"What?" said Arwen, innocently. "I've never done this before, so let me have a bit of glory." Then she snuck silently into Elrond's chambers.  
  
Merry and Pippin walked across the corridor, with Merry muttering, "Honestly! There's no need to be so dramatic!"  
  
Once they were inside the room, Arwen pulled a large box out of her backpack. She handed it to Pippin.  
  
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Look at all the pretty colours!" he whispered. "What one are we going to use first, Merry?"  
  
"I like the look of this one," smirked Merry.  
  
The first thing Elrond did when he woke up was put a hand under the sheets and check that they were dry. They were. Next he placed a hand in his mouth. Good, there were teeth there. But a horrible taste had entered his mouth, it was despicable! He spat on the floor. He cracked open one of his eyes... then the other... and looked down at his hands. Two inch, purple, glittering fake nails stared up at him, each more hideous than the last.  
  
Fearing the worst he sprang out of bed and sprinted across to the mirror.  
  
He was too appalled to scream. Mascara, lip-stick, eye-shadow, blusher and foundation, everything! His hair was in corkscrews and had blond highlights in it!  
  
He struggled to get any words out. "Wa... na...ga...fwa-wa..."  
  
He was too busy staring at his own reflection that he didn't hear a few clicks from under the bed.  
  
Yes, Merry and Pippin, armed with a camera, were on stakeout duty, underneath the bed.  
  
When Elrond recovered enough to move, he rushed into the bathroom to remove all traces of make-up, wrench off the fake nails, straighten and at last dye his hair, Merry and Pippin crawled out of the room. They hurried to inform Arwen of their latest success.  
  
"This is gold Pip!" cried Merry as they ran through the halls, "if we ever need to blackmail Elrond in the future this is the answer!"  
  
A.N. What do you think? Please Review! Sweetdeath04  
& Thorney 


	5. Thou shall use things Pink and Fluffy

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue! From the last chapter, we don't own Busted!  
  
Thanx to all our wonderful Reviewers!  
  
Thou shall use things Pink and Fluffy  
  
Elrond emerged from his bathroom three hours later, looking completely normal, though slightly distraught. How could they have got him again? Anyway, no one else knew about this particular incident.  
  
Pity, he had no idea how wrong he was. For at that precise moment, Merry and Pippin were sticking up the final blown up picture of Elrond after he had his makeover...  
  
Elrond emerged from his room, happy that no one had spied him during his latest laps of control. He strode down the hallway towards the dining hall for a late breakfast, and was met with sniggers and whispers. It wasn't until he got to the dining hall he realised why.  
  
There were pictures of him plastered over the walls. Complete with makeup and all!  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Elrond in despair, then ran through Rivendell, trying to find the source of these pictures, namely Merry and Pippin. After five minutes of running, he thought better of it and ran to his study and bolted the door shut, to hide from the laughter of the elves outside.  
  
He turned round and closed his eyes as he lent against the door for support. A split second later he opened his eyes again, just to check that they hadn't been deceiving him. They hadn't.  
  
Struggling to unbolt the door so he could run away from this never-ending nightmare, he didn't dare turn around to face the posters that had been stuck up over the back wall of his study.  
  
He ran back to his poster free bedroom, locked the door and wasn't seen for the rest of the day. It wasn't until the late evening that Aragorn discovered him huddled in a corner, rocking back and forth and muttering incoherently.  
  
It was with some persuasion, Aragorn managed to convince Elrond to leave the sanctuary of his bedroom and switch bedchambers with him for at least that night.  
  
Midnight chimed and there was a knock at Elrond's door. Aragorn opened it to see Merry and Pippin.  
  
"Come on in, Lads!" he said. Pippin was dragging a huge black bin bag behind him. Aragorn had to open the door wide to let it in.  
  
Merry crossed to the wardrobe and opened it. "Eugh! Elrond has the worst fashion sense!"  
  
"We'll soon fix that!" replied Pippin, now grinning broadly.  
  
Morning came and Elrond awoke after a good nights sleep. He walked down to his chambers to relieve Aragorn, dressed in his dressing gown and teddy bear slippers. He careful to avoid all public places and he kept to the shadows.  
  
He arrived at the door with a feeling that this calm he had experienced would not last for long. How right he was.  
  
He knocked and entered. The room was deserted. He walked across to his wardrobe and opened it.  
  
The sight was not pretty. Well unless you're in to pink and fluffy things.  
  
Yes. Pink, fluffy, feathers, all over his robes. He hurried to pull them off but only succeeded in ripping a hole in his clothes. There was nothing left in his wardrobe that hadn't been infected by the pink and fluffiness.  
  
He had just resolved to stay in his room for another day when the fire bell rang!  
  
Automatically he panicked. Sprinklers started to go off in his room. To stop himself from getting soaked he threw the clothes over him and darted from the room.  
  
Running outside he was greeted with panicking faces, for the elves of Rivendell did not want their home to burn to the ground. But Elrond put everyone at ease by trying to take control of the situation, and gaining their respect again.  
  
A mistake, as it happens. Drawing attention to him self was not the best idea he had ever had. In fact, it was probably the worst.  
  
Miles away, laughter was heard coming from Rivendell, followed by a scream of humiliation.  
  
Elrond had nowhere to hide until the bell stopped ringing and he was given the all clear to re-enter the building.  
  
He decided to try and talk to the elves, as his utter degradedness couldn't get any worse.  
  
Meanwhile, in a tree in the grounds, Merry and Pippin were watching the whole fiasco from a safe distance.  
  
"Not bad," said Pippin, trying, but failing, to keep a straight face. "Not as good as the toffees."  
  
"Oh well," said Merry, starting to climb down from the tree. "We have plenty of chances to make up for it!"  
  
A.N. Hehehe! We meet Elladan and Elrohir in the next chapter... 'Remember, animals are thys best friend! 


	6. Remember, animals are thys best friend

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
Remember, Animals are thys Best Friend  
  
Elladan and Elrohir had only been in Rivendell ten minutes when they was a knock on their door.  
  
Elladan sighed. "Come in!"  
  
Merry and Pippin pushed the door open.  
  
"Hallo!"  
  
"Hi Merry, Pippin, long time no see," said Elrohir, "I noticed that Fathers robes look somewhat different today." He said with a smirk, "I take it that was your doing?"  
  
"Naturally," said Merry, "so have you brought anything back from your travels that might be of interest to us?"  
  
A look of suspicion crossed the twin's faces.  
  
"Do you know?" asked Elladan sharply.  
  
"Arwen told us," said Pippin, "Anyway, Elrohir we have a business opportunity for you."  
  
Pippin strode down the corridor carrying a large cardboard box.  
  
"You got her then?" asked Merry as Pippin approached.  
  
"Yep," said Pippin grinning, "Merry, I'd like you to meet Suzie!"  
  
Merry gingerly lifted the top off the box and peered in.  
  
"Hi ya, Suzie!"  
  
There was a loud hiss and Merry quickly replaced the lid with a small gasp.  
  
"Viscous little thing, isn't she?" he remarked rubbing his bitten fingers.  
  
Elrond had got his tailors to make him some new robes at top speed but they weren't as grand or as well made or even as nice as his old ones.  
  
But none of that mattered now he was about to have a nice warm relaxing bath. It was the 29th of September, Frodo and Bilbo's birthday, and the party was just over. He opened the door into his bathroom and twisted the taps on so hot water poured into the tub.  
  
Then out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw something...........huge..........black..........hairy..............and with eight legs scuttling around the floor.  
  
Without thinking about what he was doing he turned around..........................  
  
Meanwhile Bilbo was returning from his party. He was completely unaware of all the stuff that had been happening over the last few days in Imladris, (He'd been asleep during all of them and he didn't listen to the elves gossip!).  
  
I was at that point he heard a high-pitched, girlish scream coming from Elrond's quarters.  
  
"EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!" and then a loud thump.  
  
"Goodness! What in Middle Earth was that?" said Bilbo plodding forward into Elrond's room.  
  
Elrond was in the bathroom standing on top of the toilet, a baseball bat clasped between his hands and a huge tarantula was sprawled out on the floor. Squished.  
  
"SUZIE!" Elrohir pushed his way passed Bilbo followed by his brother. "You Monster!" he screamed at his father, "You've killed her, my Suzie! She's dead! Because of you!" he pointed a finger at Elrond tears running down his face.  
  
At this point he tried to snatch the baseball bat out of his dad's hands to use against him but Aragorn pulled him back. Elrohir fell to the ground in a sobbing heap  
  
Arwen crouched down beside her sibling and attempted to consol him.  
  
Elrond was watching from the toilet still trembling.  
  
Arachnophobia. He was ashamed of it.  
  
Merry and Pippin were watching from behind Aragorn.  
  
"Pip," whispered Merry, "please tell me you didn't tell Elrohir that Suzie would be safe."  
  
"He knew the risks." said Pippin a tear in his eye, whether it was from grief or mirth Merry didn't know, "besides, I said we would try to try to get her home safely."  
  
Bilbo muttered his condolences to Elrohir and left for his chambers.  
  
"That was the best birthday present ever!" he laughed when he got there.  
  
That night, Elrond looked out his bedroom window, into the gardens and saw Elrohir, Elladan, Arwen, Aragorn, Pippin, Merry, Lindir, Frodo, Sam and Bilbo dressed in black morning wear, standing beside a tiny grave, complete with a tiny headstone which read,  
  
'Suzie, beloved Spider and Friend. MURDERED! 29th of September. R.I.P. (Rest in Pieces).  
  
"The whole world's gone mad!" exclaimed Elrond, before turning to his bed. That night his dreams were haunted with giant spiders.  
  
A.N. We too, give our condolences to Elrohir. Even though sweetdeath04 has Arachnophobia. Next chapter will be up before the summer, once we think of another prank. 


	7. Let thy senses guide you

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
Let thy senses guide you  
  
The next day, Elrohir was very quiet. Elrond would have felt bad for killing his son's pet, had it not been for the fact that it was a giant spider.  
  
Luckily for the hobbits, Elrohir did not blame them for Suzie's death. Most of that day they spent sitting with the distraught elf, trying to comfort him, at the grave side.  
  
They finally convinced him that he could gain revenge on his murderous father by helping them with their plots and schemes. However, Merry and Pippin were suffering from pranksters block. It was a terrible thing to happen to them at such a crucial stage in their career.  
  
"...Well.... what if we sowed the bottom of his pyjama legs together?" suggested Pippin.  
  
"No," replied Merry, thoughtfully. "I think he wears a nightgown anyway. If we sowed that up it would be a bit weird."  
  
"We could put a pickled egg in the microwave and give it to him? Whenever he bites into it, BANG!"  
  
"Nah. We don't want him to get hurt at this stage in the operation."  
  
"Well you think of something then, as all mine seem to stink!"  
  
Merry's eyes opened wide. "Stink..." he repeated.  
  
"What about it?" questioned Pippin.  
  
"Pippin............I think I have an idea.............."  
  
Elrond couldn't find it. The source of that disgusting smell. It was in his room, in the library, in his study in the dinning hall, in the gardens...........it was everywhere! He strode around his house room by room but no joy, luck or discoveries came his way.  
  
Elrond was so busy wandering around that he didn't notice the looks people were giving him, the way they were holding their noses and whispering things like  
  
'When was the last time he had a bath?'  
  
He had attempted to talk to Elrohir but every time he tried his son ran off with a look of disgust on his face.  
  
Finally he gave up his search of the smell and of his son.  
  
Legolas came upon him in his hour of need.  
  
"My Lord...Ugh!" he pinched his nose.  
  
"So you can smell it too!" said Elrond, then turning away from Legolas and looking up he yelled to the sky;  
  
"YES! I'M NOT GOING INSAIN!!!!"  
  
"No but you're starting to rot!" said Legolas before he could stop himself.  
  
Elrond glared at him.  
  
"Do you have any idea where this despicable smell is coming from?" Elrond questioned, accusingly.  
  
True Legolas had assisted in the distraction of Elrond while Merry, balancing on Pippin's shoulders had placed the slimy kipper in Elrond's hood. He was amazed they had got away with it and he was even more amazed that Elrond had not noticed the smell was coming from him self.  
  
"Something sure smell's fishy around here," said Elrond raising his voice, so that Pippin and Merry, who happen to be passing, they were making sure their plot was going to plan.  
  
Poor Elrond had no idea how close he was to the truth.  
  
It wasn't until late, that he discovered the horrible fishes corps in his robes.  
  
Because of a fish............he'd had suffered all day.  
  
In addition all the elves in Rivendell thought he didn't know how to have a bath. Still considering some of the hobbits other pranks this one was relatively small.  
  
Elrond had a feeling this was the calm before the storm.  
  
A.N. We are sorry that this chapter is pretty rubbish on comparison to our others. We have a touch of Writers and Pranksters block! But the next chapter, oh, the next chapter..... MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Where did that come from? Thorney  
& Sweetdeath04 


	8. If thou makes it bigger thou makes it be...

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
If thou makes it bigger thou makes it better  
  
Aragorn arrived at the study that he'd been summoned to.  
  
Elladan, (the still mourning) Elrohir, Legolas, Arwen, Frodo, Sam and Lindir were already there all of them were looking puzzled.  
  
Pippin walked through the door.  
  
"Presenting," he said dramatically, "the Master of Mayhem, the Prince of Pranks, the King of Chaos, Meriadoc Brandybuck!"  
  
"What's with all the names?" someone asked.  
  
"That's what he wants us to call him now," said Pippin, simply.  
  
Merry strode into the room looking very smug about him self.  
  
"You are the chosen ones!" he began.  
  
Arwen was trying not to laugh, Aragorn, Legolas and Lindir grinned broadly, Frodo and Sam rolled their eyes and even Elladan and Elrohir managed to crack a smile.  
  
"Of the Fellowship of Rule Breakers!" Merry continued pompously.  
  
"The... what?" Legolas asked.  
  
"The Fellowship of Rule Breakers! You know, like the Fellowship of the Ring, except that didn't work and this one has one more member. This one doesn't specialise in destroying evil magic rings, it specialises in annoying the heck out of Elrond!"  
  
"I don't need much more convincing!" said Elrohir, the memories of Suzie flooding back. He stood up.  
  
Arwen too, rose to her feet. "Well, we can't have another Fellowship which is boys only."  
  
Aragorn and Elladan stood up, after Arwen and Elrohir's lead. Elladan was slightly afraid what his twin would do to their father if he wasn't accompanied.  
  
Frodo and Sam had the same idea except for Merry and Pippin. So they stood up.  
  
Lindir still hadn't forgiven Elrond for the 'kidnapping' of his bouncy ball.  
  
"I'm in!" he said, rising to his feet.  
  
Everyone now looked at Legolas. He had his arms folded and a disapproving look was on his face.  
  
Aragorn bent down and whispered something in Legolas's ear, which sounded suspiciously like blackmail.  
  
"OK!" cried Legolas shrilly, jumping to his feet. "I'll do it, I'll do it!"  
  
"Perfect!" said Merry. "Pippin and I have already formulated a plan. All we need to do now is figure out what each of us is going to do!"  
  
"So," said Arwen, "What's the plan?"  
  
"Legolas, are you in position?"  
  
"Check!"  
  
"Lindir, what about you?"  
  
"Check!"  
  
"Frodo, Sam?"  
  
"Check!"  
  
"Check!"  
  
"Good! Over and out!" said Merry as he put down his walkie-talkie. "The four watchers are in position."  
  
Pippin turned to look at him. "Good, Aragorn's just gone off to find Elrond."  
  
As if on cue, Aragorn's voice came through the walkie-talkie. "Subject sighted. Operation Distract the Idiot about to commence."  
  
"Good work, number five. Now keep him away from the main courtyard at all costs, Aragorn."  
  
Merry continued, "Ok everyone, we're about to begin. The Four Watchers, stop anyone from coming anywhere near the courtyard. Arwen, wait for my signal. Over and Out and everybody... good luck!"  
  
Merry, Pippin, Elladan and Elrohir walked forward as one and tipped the boxes up and white powder flooded into the stone fountain, situated right in the middle of the courtyard.  
  
When the boxes had been emptied they quickly cleared the area. Merry picked up the walkie-talkie.  
  
"Arwen," he said into the device. "LET HER RIP!!!"  
  
Arwen tutted to her self.  
  
"This is a prank not a Bay-Blade match!"  
  
She was in Rivendell's main boiler room. She located the fountain control and twisted it from 'Gentle Flow' to 'Monsoon'.  
  
The boiler started to shake as though it was about to explode and she fled the small room immediately.  
  
Meanwhile out side, Lindir was just about to 'explain' to a very large and angry dwarf why he wasn't allowed to go into the courtyard when he heard screams echoing from the fountain and cheers coming from the walkie-talkie strapped to his belt.  
  
"Right," he said slowly to the dwarf, "I think you can go in now!"  
  
With that he ducked past him and sped off toward the arranged meeting place.  
  
"Merry," he gasped into the walkie-talkie, "there's a very mean looking dwarf coming your way."  
  
"Don't worry," came the reply, "we're out of his way and I'm sure he's nothing to what Elrond's going to be like when he sees what we've done!"  
  
"ARAGORN! LEAVE ME ALONE!" shrieked the distressed elf lord.  
  
"But my lord..."  
  
"DON'T 'BUT MY LORD ME!" mimicked Elrond and he pushed passed the ranger and headed toward the courtyard.  
  
Aragorn let out a few swear words in elvish and ran after him.  
  
Suddenly his walkie-talkie crackled and Pippin's voice said, "OK, the operation is completed! Meet on the tallest tower in five."  
  
Aragorn sighed and turned tail. He sped down the hall and up some very steep steps.  
  
Elrond arrived in the court yard.........................  
  
At first he thought it had snowed. Then it dawned on him that they were not snow flakes that had landed on his head........they were bubbles! The Fellowship of Rule Breakers had used enough soap suds to last the Rivendell laundrette a decade. (The boxes had been '30% extra free' Jumbo Sized!)  
  
It was five feet deep in some places, and even the large dwarf was struggling to keep his head out of the deadly sea of suds.  
  
Elrond screamed. He screamed and he screamed and he screamed. He was so busy screaming that he didn't notice that the bubbles were up to his neck and rising.  
  
He only realised this in fact, when he couldn't scream any more because every time he did he got a mouth full of fluffy, white, foam.  
  
"Yep," said Legolas starring at Elrond through his binoculars, "we got him good."  
  
"Give me those!" said Elrohir as he snatched them away from Legolas,  
  
"Ha!" he cried, "In your face you spider killer!"  
  
"Murderer!" joined in Elladan.  
  
"Kidnaper!" yelled Lindir.  
  
"Really bad Father!" spat Arwen.  
  
"Evil elf lord!" cried Aragorn.  
  
"You're really annoying, up tight, and you have atrocious table manners!" screamed Pippin leaning right over the side of the balcony.  
  
After giving Pippin an exasperated look, Merry turned to the others,  
  
"Brilliant job everyone! We couldn't have done it without you. All ten of us............. Hang on! WHERE'S SAM?!"  
  
"We must have left him behind!" exclaimed Frodo, "And he can't swim!" He sped down the steps and out of sight.  
  
Sam was discovered holding onto the wooded door from the boiler room, which *had* exploded, ten minutes later.  
  
"So," said Pippin as Aragorn and Legolas waded out to the drenched hobbit, "The fountain's going to be on the 'Monsoon' setting for quite some time, I believe!"  
  
A.N. Thanks again to all our wonderful reviewers. We appreciate your support! Next Chapter coming very soon. Sweetdeath04  
& Thorney 


	9. Make thy enemy pay by disillusion

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
Make thy enemy pay by disillusion  
  
"Well that was OK compared to some of his other tantrums," said Elladan as he and his brother left the office, which, because it was on the ground floor, was starting to flood with water.  
  
"Can his tantrums get any worse?!" said Elrohir who was a bit more sensitive than his brother and didn't like being yelled at.  
  
Merry and Pippin came around the corner, struggling though the (hobbit) knee high water  
  
Elladan waved his hands in front of him. "I wouldn't come this way if I were you! Dad's on a rampage."  
  
"Yeah," put in his brother, "he's after your blood!"  
  
"So he took the fact that his house has become a swimming pool pretty well then?" asked Pippin innocently.  
  
"As well as dad ever takes things like that!"  
  
At that moment Elrond waded out of his study door. His eyes fell on the unfortunate hobbits.  
  
He started slowly towards them.....  
  
"This time you've gone to far......" his voice was quiet and dangerous.  
  
"Pip," said Merry, his voice shaking with fear and excitement, "Now if any is the time to......"  
  
He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence. Elrond let out a sound caught between a war cry and a maddening scream. He shot after the fleeing Halflings.  
  
Running all over the entire valley of Imladris, slipping on wet floors and drowning in the courtyards was a regular occurrence over the next few hours, but that didn't make it enjoyable for the hobbits or in fact Elrond.  
  
Elrohir hadn't been kidding when he said 'after your blood'. Every now and again Pippin and Merry heard a shriek or a yell from behind them but they never turned around.  
  
The reasons they weren't in the elf lord's clutches was the water, his gowns which restricted, and the small fact that he couldn't swim.  
  
"I'm so glad I was brought up in Buckland!" gasped Merry as he dived into a particularly deep stretch of water. Pippin did a belly flop but still managed to duck-dive under the surface.  
  
They swam across to the other side and scrambled onto dry land, shaking their curly hair free of water, like a dog.  
  
Now, they looked back to see an out of breath, but still very angry Elrond standing on the other side.  
  
"I'LL GET YOU! IT MAY TAKE ME LONGER TO GET OVER THERE BUT I'LL GET YOU!!!"  
  
With that he trudged off, finding another way around the water.  
  
"Quick Pip!" spluttered Merry, clambering to his feet, "Let's find somewhere to hide! It won't take him that long to get here!"  
  
They sprinted off down the flooded corridor.  
  
"Merry, Merry!" hissed Pippin, "I can't run any more! Please Merry!"  
  
"Don't worry you don't have to any more!" said a voice.  
  
Someone grabbed them from behind and muffled their screams with a hand. They were dragged into a side room a dumped onto the floor.  
  
"HE'S GOT US MERRY!" yelled Pippin, "IT'S ALL OVER, WE'RE SQUISHED! I'M TOO CUTE TO DIE!"  
  
He forced his eyes open and was greeted by the sight of Frodo doubled over, laughing. Sam was chuckling behind him. Pippin felt extremely embarrassed and he blushed deep crimson.  
  
"Honestly Frodo!" said Merry hands on his hips, "You could have just walked up to us!"  
  
"We wanted to punish you!" said Frodo, still ecstatic, from Pippin's little out burst, "For causing all this trouble! And to give you a shock at the same time!"  
  
"But you guys were part of the trouble!" said Pippin, starting to recover, "You helped!"  
  
"You're the ring leaders!" exclaimed Sam, he pointed a finger at Pippin.  
  
"Yes but......"  
  
"Shut it!"  
  
Everyone went quiet just in time to hear panting, wheezing and the constant mutters of; "I can't let them win! I can't let them win!" outside the door.  
  
Through the crack in the door they saw Elrond hurrying away.  
  
"He'll pay for this Pip." whispered Merry, "You mark my words, he'll pay."  
  
Elrond's splashing soon died away.  
  
"Ok," whispered Merry, just encase someone should over hear. "We have another quest for the Fellowship of Rule Breakers. Same place, same time. Spread the word."  
  
Elrond had been searching for them for hours. He was cold, wet, tired and hungry, because he had missed both lunch and dinner. He decided to retreat to his nice dry bedroom which was on a higher floor.  
  
He opened the door and stumbled in. He blinked, turned around, walked out and shut the door again.  
  
Yet again he opened his door. No, there was no mistaking it. Everything, and we mean everything, was upside down.  
  
His bed, his wardrobe, the carpet, and everything else. He didn't know how it had happened, but Merry and Pippin had fooled him again.  
  
If only he had been in that little room on the other side of the building, where the Fellowship of Rule Breakers were discussing the days earlier events.  
  
"Thank for the lend of the ladders, Legolas," said the 'Prince of Pranks'. "And the superglue, Aragorn!"  
  
True, it had been a hard four hours work, but it had been worth it!  
  
"We've stolen another wondrous victory!" said Arwen.  
  
"Speaking of stolen..." said Lindir, a smile fleeting across his face.  
  
From behind his back he produced a bottle of Imladras's finest bubbly and ten crystal glasses.  
  
This act was greeted by loud cheers.  
  
Meanwhile, Elrond was trying to pull himself up into his bed. After several attempts, all of which evolved him falling out and onto a hard 'ceiling', he grabbed his rubber mat, snuck downstairs, and settled down for the night on his desk in his waterlogged study.  
  
As the last star became visible in the night sky, the Fellowship of Rule Breakers raised their glasses high in a toast.  
  
"To rule breaking!" said Merry loudly, standing on tip toes to reach the human and elves glasses, "Life's greatest attribute!"  
  
A.N. Thorney hopes you all like sweetdeath04's quote about Pippin being too cute to die. She also hopes that there are some people out there that are as obsessed with Billy Boyd and Pippin as she is!  
  
Thorney  
& sweetdeath04 


	10. Thou Must Have Fun While Performing Pran...

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
Thou must have fun while performing pranks  
  
Lord Glorfindel discovered Elrond the next morning in his study the next morning, lying beside his desk in his waterlogged study. Only his face was visible above the murky water. A large bump was protruding from his forehead. He had apparently fallen off his desk in the middle of the night and whacked is head, while he was falling, off the side of it. This was quite obvious because of the bloodstain on the desk and on his head. There was also the fact that he was unconscious. He was still clutching his rubber mat close to him as though it was his only friend in the world.  
  
Glorfindel tried to shake Elrond awake but to no effect. Finally he decided on a different approach.  
  
"GIANT SPIDERS COMING THIS WAY!!!" he hollered, as loud as he could before his lungs exploded.  
  
Elrond sat up rather suddenly and drew the...  
  
Baseball bat!  
  
He lunged forward and 'stabbed' Glorfindel in the stomach with it, who fell back into the water. Elrond looked around for any spiders but only saw Glorfindel lying in the water completely winded, but still managing to laugh.  
  
"Glad to see you're awake again, my Lord!" choked Glorfindel.  
  
"Don't talk so loud Pip!" Merry groaned, stumbling forward towards the door of their room.  
  
"WHY NOT MERRY? IS IT BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT A HANGOVER?" Pippin shouted. Merry groaned again, for he knew that in actual fact Pippin was talking at the normal volume. If it had sounded like shouting... well, it was going to be a very long morning.  
  
"I'M NOT SUPPRISED!" said Pippin. "THE AMOUNT YOU DRANK LAST NIGHT! EVEN SAURON WOULD GET A HANGOVER WITH THAT!"  
  
"Ugh! I'm going back to bed!" said Merry feebly.  
  
"You can't Merry! It's a lovely day! And we still have pranks to form!" Pippin cried, throwing open the curtains.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Yelled Merry, as the light hit his face.  
  
"Oops! Sorry!" said Pippin, knowing that when his older cousin recovered, he better get ready to run.  
  
Aragorn walked into Elrond's bedroom to find the elf lord sitting on the floor, listening to calming music and doing yoga in a vain attempt to reach his 'inner calm'.  
  
"My Lord..." began Aragorn.  
  
"Be still Estel. You are poisoning my positive chi with your negative chi!"  
  
Aragorn rushed out of the room, wondering what they had done to the elf lord's sanity.  
  
As he turned a corner, Pippin smashed into him, and the hobbit fell backwards onto the floor.  
  
"Sorry Strider!" stammered Pippin scrambling to his feet. "The Prince of Pranks craves audience with you."  
  
Aragorn looked bewildered.  
  
"Merry wants to see you," said Pippin shortly, reading the look on Aragorns face.  
  
"You could have just said so in the first place!" exclaimed Aragorn, striding off to look for Merry.  
  
Once again, The Fellowship of Rule Beakers were assembled in an upstairs room, ready for their next big prank. The old walkie-talkies had been handed out again. Everyone was prepared for this stunt.  
  
For the second time in three days, Arwen was found in a boiler room. This one was much smaller as the main one had blown up. Thanks to Elrond's pickiness about temperature each room in Rivendell had it's own heating system.  
  
Walkie-talkie in one hand and torch in the other, she searched the small room until she found what she was looking for. She twisted it down as far as it would go and shivered at the thought of how cold that would be.  
  
Meanwhile Merry and Pippin were sitting beside the big stretch of water that they had swam across to avoid Elrond the previous day. The rest of the Fellowship were there too and everyone was dressed *very* warmly.  
  
"I'm too warm!" whined Lindir. "Can't we take just a few of these layers off?"  
  
"You'll be thankful that you're wearing them once Arwen's completed her little task!" Aragorn advised him.  
  
It happened rather suddenly. They all felt the temperature drop by at least thirty degrees.  
  
"I'm too cold!" whined Lindir. They only had to wait two minutes until the water in front of them froze, solid as rock.  
  
"OK! Let's get out of here!" said Legolas, wanting to get out of the cold environment. As he tried to pull himself to his feet, he slipped on the edge of the ice and went sliding across it on his back, coming to a halt right in front of Arwen, who had emerged from a side passage.  
  
"You could have waited for me!" she said grumpily.  
  
"COOL!" cried Pippin, leaping forward.  
  
"Literally!" said Merry, following. Both tried to run towards Legolas but succeeded in getting nowhere as their feet kept slipping back on the ice. Finally, in unison, they fell flat on their faces. Sam and Frodo appeared at their sides and pushed. Hard. Merry and Pippin went across the ice at top speed, eventually stopping in a pile of slush at the other side.  
  
It was at this point that the Fellowship of Rule Breakers invented Ice Skating. Aragorn stayed up easily, being a ranger and all. Lindir wasn't so lucky as he only managed to keep to his feet for a few seconds at a time.  
  
Thanks to the elvish grace of Arwen, she became the first figure skater in Middle Earth. Elladan and Elrohir had great fun pushing each other down and any time Legolas tried to skate, he always ended up going round in circles. Merry, Pippin, Frodo and Sam had a huge slush fight, which involved everyone getting very wet and very cold.  
  
Pippin was the first to surrender. "This has been one of the best times of my life, but I need my beauty sleep!"  
  
"You're not kidding!" muttered Merry.  
  
Pippin gave him a withering look and said, "Ha ha ha, Merry. Look, I'll see you all in the morning." He skated gracefully off the ice and headed towards his bedchamber.  
  
He hadn't got very far when he heard footsteps coming from around the corner. He hadn't had a chance to hide when none other than Elrond himself was less than a foot away from him.  
  
"You're doomed!" he said quietly. Pippin froze. "I'll get the other one later!" and with that reached a hand out to grab Pippin.  
  
Pippin came to his senses quickly and dodged out of reach of the hand. He turned on his heel and sprinted toward the ice rink.  
  
The chase continued down the corridor with Elrond shouting random comments.  
  
"I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!!" was a favourite. So was, "THIS ISN'T A THREAT! IT'S A PROMISE!"  
  
He had just started to yell again. "COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE-" but he was cut off as he reached the ice. Pippin, who was used to it, skated across with ease, but Elrond...  
  
SMASH!!!  
  
Elrond fell extraordinarily hard. Many of the Fellowship gasped in surprise as the elf whizzed past them, straight into a pillar at the other side.  
  
The members of the Fellowship skated over reluctantly, not wanting him to wake up. For once again, Elrond was unconscious. Blood was pouring out of his nose and his leg was sticking out at an odd angle.  
  
"Ew!" cried Pippin. "That's gonna hurt tomorrow!"  
  
A.N. Sorry for the delay! School, teachers, homework, you know! Expect the next chapter very shortly. Thanx to all are wonderful reviewers. You're comments are greatly appreciated! Sweetdeath04  
& Thorney 


	11. Thou Shall not get caught!

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
Thou shall not get caught!  
  
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! My head!" groaned Elrond. He opened his eyes to face the dazzling light.  
  
"Try not to move, my lord! You're grievously hurt!"  
  
When Elrond's eyes had adjusted to the light he saw his leg, in a cast, and suspended in a sling.  
  
"What happened?" he asked. He noticed that his voice sounded strange. Almost like he had a very strong cold.  
  
"Well, maybe you should see for yourself, my lord," and she handed him a mirror.  
  
Elrond looked at his reflection, broken nose and all, then at his broken leg, then at his reflection, and then up at his leg, then down at his reflection and up at his leg. As he looked at his reflection again he said in a venomous whisper, as it all came rushing back to him, "They will pay!"  
  
"I do beg your pardon, my lord, but you've said that several times to the hour and Merry and Pippin have not yet paid for anything." With this she turned away, trying not to laugh at the elf Lord's misfortune.  
  
"How is he?" asked Aragorn.  
  
"He's still getting the hang of it," said the matron, "but he'll catch on soon enough." There was another loud crash as Elrond hit the wall in his wheel-chair.  
  
"These walls! These bloody wheels!!!" yelled Elrond through his bandage. "I considerably hope you're happy Aragorn! I'm going to be stuck like this for weeks! That means I'm going to be crashing into walls and rolling off balconies! And I'm more vulnerable to their attacks!" He started to roll off down the corridor. "I can't let them win," he muttered. "I can't let them win! I can't let them- OOF!" he yelled as he collided with the closed door.  
  
"Oh dear!" said the matron, as she waddled off down the hallway to help Elrond back into his wheel-chair, and to check if there was any more damage caused to his nose.  
  
"I promise you Pip! We didn't go too far!"  
  
"That's not what Arwen said!" Pippin retorted.  
  
"Well Arwen's wrong! He'll be right as rain in a few weeks! He's an elf! He's immortal! He'll get over it!"  
  
"If you're sure Merry," said Pippin somewhat doubtfully. "Anyway, this is the last full day we have in Rivendell, so what are we going to do? Do I need to call the Fellowship?"  
  
"No! This is the last prank, so it's just going to be you and me! Besides, if Arwen thought the last one was too far, then I don't want to imagine what she would think of this one!"  
  
"I take it, you've got a plan then," said Pippin, somewhat glumly, as he had wanted to think of one himself.  
  
"I do indeed, my dear cousin," said Merry, leaning back in his chair and tapping his fingers together. "I do indeed..."  
  
"So you're telling us that we have to be out of the west wing by three o'clock this afternoon for no reason what so ever?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And why would we have to be out of the west wing by three o'clock this afternoon for no reason what so ever?"  
  
"No reason what so ever! I've all ready told you that!"  
  
Elladan and Elrohir gave each other side ways glances.  
  
"Okay," said Elladan, "we won't interfere with your plans. But go easy on him, it is the last day and now he's in a wheel-chair."  
  
"ELROND'S IN A WHEEL-CHAIR!!??" Pippin cried in amazement.  
  
"Yeah, haven't you heard? You broke his leg."  
  
"And his nose," said Elrohir off handedly, "But the legs a lot worse!"  
  
"Ohhhh, you wait till I tell Merry!" giggled Pippin, "in the meantime can you spread the word, NO ONE, and that means NO ONE must be in the west wing by three o'clock!"  
  
"Alright!" said the twins together and they turned away. "What do you suppose they're up to?" asked Elrohir.  
  
"I don't know," said Elladan thoughtfully, "but I for one am not going anywhere near the west wing today!"  
  
"Ugh! This mirror is no way big enough!" grumbled Legolas, staring at his reflection in his tiny hand mirror, "Where can I find a bigger one?" he asked himself, "Of course! The West Wing!" and with that, he strode off towards the west wing in search of a mirror.  
  
At the moment he turned the corner, Elladan and Elrohir came into view.  
  
"Have we told everyone then?" Elrohir questioned.  
  
"Yep, that's everyone!" answered Elrohir, "now let's retreat to the gardens, get well out of the way!"  
  
Elladan and Elrohir had got everyone, everyone that is except Legolas.................  
  
"All the wires are in place Merry," said Pippin as he put the last plug in place, "But I have a question. Are you sure this counts as a prank? Are you sure it's not vandalism or even Terrorism?"  
  
"I'm sure it's a prank!" said Merry soothingly as he opened a large crate, "Besides look at this place! Elrond's rolling in it! Imagine the insurance! I think he can afford to lose a bit of his beloved home!"  
  
With that he reached into the crate a pulled out a TNT plunger.  
  
He grinned and stroked it lovingly, "Let's go out with a bang, Pip!" he whispered.  
  
"What are they doing up there?" said Arwen nervously. She was gazing at the west wing and biting her nails, which was very uncharacteristic for her.  
  
"I don't know," said Aragorn, deep in thought, he sounded coherent and calm but inside his heart was racing and he felt sick, "Have you seen the Lego man recently?" he asked her.  
  
"Yeah," she replied only half concentrating, "I saw him on my way out, something about a larger mirror."  
  
Aragorn frowned, "There only is one mirror in Rivendell big enough for Legolas' standards, and that's in the ....." he stopped.  
  
Arwen finished his sentence, starting to look very scared, "THE WEST WING!"  
  
"WE HAVE TO STOP MERRY AND PIPPIN!" yelled Aragorn. And with that he darted towards the doors that lead to the staircase that went to the West Wing.  
  
"The gunpowder plot, Middle-Earth style!" said Pippin gleefully as he brought the plunger over to the end of the wires.  
  
"Ok," said Merry. "Countdown starting from TEN..."  
  
Aragorn raced down a corridor.  
  
Merry joined Pippin at the plunger. "NINE....."  
  
Aragorn was running flat out! He had to find Legolas, before it was too late!  
  
"EIGHT..." Both hobbits placed their hands on the plunger. "SEVEN..."  
  
Aragorn skidded around a corner.  
  
"SIX..."  
  
"We are out of the way of the blast, aren't we?"  
  
"Yes, Pippin! For the eleventieth time!"  
  
"FIVE..."  
  
Aragorn was getting nearer and nearer to the mirror by the second! But he didn't know if it would be enough...  
  
"FOUR..."  
  
"THREE..."  
  
Aragorn tripped over something and fell flat on his face! His last thoughts were that he had failed Legolas. But at least Legolas would never know that it was Aragorn that had failed him.  
  
"TWO..." Merry and Pippin said in unison.  
  
"ONE..." They pushed down the plunger.  
  
"ZERO!!!"  
  
A.N. Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnnn! Now you just have to wait a couple of months for the next chapter.... Na! Just messin' with ya! This Chapter is the prequel to our other fic, "What would happen if Aragorn got a Car!" It is also dedicated to Thorney's sister 'Everlasting Sparkles' who gave us the idea in the first place! Next chapter will be up really real soon! Sweetdeath04  
& Thorney 


	12. Epilogue

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us! If they did you would never have heard of them because we don't possess the unique writing abilities of J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue!  
  
Epilogue  
  
Silence.  
  
Aragorn lay face down on the floor. "You're dead," he told himself sternly. "You're never going to become King of Gondor, you're never going to marry Arwen, Legolas is never going to teach you how to use hair-straighteners, Gimli will never teach you how to surf! In fact you're never going to any of the things you wanted to do before you're ninety! You're a disgrace!"  
  
"Ummmm.....Aragorn?"  
  
"Go away!" Aragorn mumbled, "Can't you see I'm trying to be dead here!"  
  
"Aragorn? Why are you lying on the floor?"  
  
"Legolas? Oh no they got you too! You're dead Legolas. Don't you realize it! Oh well, at least I won't be alone."  
  
"Aragorn I'm pretty sure I'm alive! Just because I'm having a bad hair day, doesn't usually classify me as dead!"  
  
"But......But Merry and Pippin killed you! And they killed me!"  
  
"Ok you've got concussion, I'll come back later."  
  
"No....don't leave me!" said Aragorn feebly, raising his hand towards the direction the voice was coming from.  
  
"Errrr....."  
  
At this point Aragorn decided to look around him, expecting to see white shores and silver glass. But no........all he saw was the corridor, in the west wing, in Rivendell, in the valley of Imladris, in the misty mountains, in the north, in Middle-Earth, in the world, in the solar system, in the galaxy, in the universe.  
  
"I'm not dead." He said with disbelief, "I'm not dead! I'M NOT DEAD! IN YOUR FACE MERRY AND PIPPIN! YOU LIKE MANY OTHERS BEFORE YOU," his voice echoing through the halls, "YOU HAVE FAILED TO KILL THE RANGER DUDE!!!!!!" he listened to the echo fade, "Crap that was not meant to sound so corny."  
  
"What happened?" quizzed Pippin, "Where's the big bang?"  
  
"Well you've missed it by about 50 million years Pip!" retorted Merry, then seeing the confuse look on Pippin's face said, "Well I don't know, do I?!"  
  
"You must have wired it up wrong," Pippin said wringing his hands in frustration.  
  
"You were the one who did the wiring!" yelled Merry, "Go find out what went wrong!" he gave Pippin a little push towards the door.  
  
"Don't be hasty, Master Meriadoc!" said Pippin, grinning a cheeky grin.  
  
Merry growled at him and Pippin took it as his cue to leave.  
  
"What happened to you?" asked Legolas as he helped Aragorn up.  
  
"I dunno," said Aragorn dusting off his ranger outfit, "I tripped....."  
  
He turned around to see what in fact he had fallen over. Legolas saw comprehension dawn all over his friend's face. Following Aragorn's gaze he spotted a very large and important looking cable lying, unplugged across the corridor.  
  
Aragorn, upon falling over it, had pulled it out of its socket, therefore foiling Merry and Pippin's evil plan.  
  
"Hello!" said a cheery voice from over Aragorn's shoulder.  
  
"Oh so that's what went wrong!" cried Pippin hurrying forward and sticking the plug back into position, "Right, now I can go back to Merry and we'll get on with the show!"  
  
Turning away to walk back the way he had come, he called behind him, "Hey! Shouldn't you guys be outside?"  
  
Aragorn yelled to him, "Pippin, I'm really sorry about this!" Then he snatched the tiny hand mirror from Legolas, who had been holding it throughout the entire thing. He launched it through the air towards Pippin's head, and even before it hit home, he knew the aim was true.  
  
Bonk!  
  
Pippin fell like a stone being dropped into a well.  
  
"One down, one to go!" said Aragorn looking quite gleeful. His eyes then fell on Legolas, who was standing, looking quite distraught, over his mirror which had been shattered into tiny pieces.  
  
"My mirror!" he sobbed. "My beautiful mirror! Broken! That's seven years bad luck, I hope you know!"  
  
"Oh calm down! I'll get you a new one!"  
  
"A BIGGER one!"  
  
"Ok, a bigger one."  
  
"That one!" screamed Legolas, like a spoilt child, pointing to the large mirror that hung on the wall down the corridor.  
  
"Fine! That one!" sighed Aragorn exasperatedly walking over to Pippin's lifeless body. "Meanwhile we have to find Merry and put an end to this escapade!"  
  
The horses were packed they were ready to leave. Aragorn was in a particularly good mood. That morning he had woken to find Elrond racing around, doing 360s in his wheel chair and screaming, "THEY'RE LEAVING TODAY! THEY'RE LEAVING TODAY! THEY....ARE...... LEAVING!!!!!"  
  
The elf lord had attempted to yell, jump up and down, scream and generally tell off Merry and Pippin but nothing he could do or say would make the slightest bit of change in their behavior.  
  
On the hobbits' command Aragorn had constructed a plaque to go in place of the mirror which he had nicked for Legolas.  
  
It read:  
  
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF RULE BREAKING  
  
Thy shalt use embarrassment to crush thy enemy  
  
Thy must reveal thy enemy's secrets  
  
Beauty is thy key to all evil  
  
Thou shall use things pink and fluffy  
  
Remember animals are thy's best friend  
  
Let thy senses guide you  
  
If thou makes it bigger thou makes it better  
  
Make thy enemy pay by disillusion  
  
Thou must have fun while performing pranks  
  
Thou shall not get caught!  
  
If you follow these you will be great masters of mayhem!  
By Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrine Took  
  
"So, you guys are finished then?" asked Frodo, as the party rode away  
from the valley of Imladris.  
  
"Well," said Merry thoughtfully, "We're only taking a little break at the  
moment. We'll never retire completely!"  
  
"Besides," cut in Pippin, "We aren't even completely finished here, you  
see we left Elrond a little parting gift." Merry and Pippin grinned their  
evil grins.  
  
From three miles away Elrond's screams were heard by Merry and Pippin.  
  
"Merry!" said Pippin suddenly coming up beside his cousin, "Merry!"  
  
"Umm?" said Merry still grinning broadly.  
  
"Merry," smirked Pippin, "Do you think we should have told Elrond we're  
coming down for Christmas?"  
  
A.N That's all folks! The road goes ever on and on with our other fic,  
(be warned it ain't as good, we wrote it when we were little girls of  
twelve!)  
Here at last the fellowship is ended and we are left to tell the tale  
so....... Smell you later!  
  
Thorney  
&  
Sweetdeath04 


End file.
